#perfectlove

Two words come to my mind with I think of #perfectlove: Jesus (of course) and Joey.

Now we all should know why Jesus comes to mind when we think of this simple phrase but many of you are thinking to yourself “why Joey? Who is Joey?”  Well Joey is my husband of 12 ½ years, He is my soul mate. He is the one that God made for me and me only. He is the father of my children. He is mine.

So now I know you’re asking “why would you use him to describe perfect love?”

Well its simple because he loves me. I know simple right? Well not exactly.

You see for much of our marriage I put my husband through hell. I lied to him, I cheated on him, I turned my back on him, I caused him so much pain and yet 12 ½ years later we are still together.

4 years, 5 weeks and 3 days ago Joey and I walked down the aisle at a small church just a few blocks away from our home and asked Jesus into our hearts. That was a Wednesday and only the second time we stepped foot into this little church that was an old movie store. That night was the night that I saw perfect love from Jesus. That night I saw how my sins were washed away because Jesus and because of this I saw perfect love.

You see just the Friday before Joey and I decided that we were going to the divorce lawyer the next Monday. Well God had a different plan. Sunday we woke up and he asked if I wanted to go to church, I said sure. So we got up, got ready, got our 2 kids ready and went to church. That day something changed in our hearts about the lawyer. We decided to wait for a few days and think about it before we went. Well Wednesday came and off to church we went.

Needless to say we never made it to the lawyers office.

Because Joey and I both were saved that night, I began to see Jesus work in my beaten and broke down husband. I saw him began to love me differently. I saw him began to change into the man I know he always wanted to be. I saw him love our children differently. He became perfect love.

He told me before night, that he forgave me for all that I put him through, I wanted to believe him but there were times when I just couldn’t. There were times when he would say something to me that would tell me he did not forgive me. There were times when he would do something that showed me he still was hanging on the all the bad feeling he had toward me. Who could blame him?

But that Wednesday night when we took that walk hand in hand it all changed. His love for me changed. His feelings for me changed. His way of think about me changed. He truly forgave me. Because Jesus lives in him he was able to forgive me.

I see Joey as perfect Love because Jesus lives in him. In fact John 14:20 says

 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.

So if Jesus is perfect Love and He lives in my husband than Joey is as well perfect Love.

Don’t get me wrong my husband is by no means perfect to anyone else but me. Although he will fail me because he is man, he also tries loves me the way Jesus loves me. And I believe he is doing a great job.

And that to me is #perfectlove.

 

 

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My Little Sock Story

My feet were freezing this morning, so I searched in the dryer for a pair of socks that actually match. I truly cant believe that this time my dryer did not eat one of them.

Anyway, as I started to slip the warm socks on my ice cold toes I said to myself

“Man, no one could know how good this feels right now.”

Right then I hear a still small voice say “I know exactly how you feel right now in this moment.”

I’m thinking “what Lord? I mean I know you know my pain, and my anger, and all the things you died for on the cross for me but I don’t understand how you know how I feel right now.”

The whisper said “DO I not live inside of you?”

On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” John 14:20

“Well yes Lord you do but..”

“So than how can I not feel what you feel? How can I not see what you see? How can I not know what you need? If I live in you than I know…see…feel what you do.”

At that moment even though it was only the warm feeling of comfy socks covering my ice cold toes, I was comforted. I know He lives in me and when I am lonely, happy, sad, joyful, angry, loved, overwhelmed, when I feel anything I know that Jesus feels it as well and I know I am not alone.

Dear Jesus, I pray that whoever is reading this please comfort them in whatever is happening in their lives. Help them see that you will never leave them nor forsake them. Please fill them and me with your love. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

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Love or Condemnation

Are you showing Jesus with Love or with condemnation?

So many people want to share their faith but just don’t know how to do it. You can tell something all the wrong they are doing and then expect them to turn their ways and love Jesus. We have to show even the hardest of a person the LOVE of Christ before we can talk with them about their sin.

I remember when I was in sin and people would come to me and tell me all the bad I’m doing, and then ask me to come to church…that just turned me away from Christ. I didn’t want anyone with the same sin as me telling me what I’m doing wrong, I wanted them to show me how this Christ of theirs changed their lives and how He can change mine.

What gets me the most is when people shove Jesus in someone’s face. When someone is always saying how you need to come to church or to an event because you need Jesus. The way I see it all of us need Jesus every second of every day no matter if you’re a believer or not.

You see people don’t need to hear what they are doing it wrong because they already know. They want to see others who have came from the same darkness and how they have overcame it.

I was speaking with a 21 year old girl who has server panic and anxiety issues and I was telling her about the issues I had from the time I was little until a few years ago. She asked me “how did you overcome it?”

I told her “well to tell you the truth, it was because of Jesus.”

She started to tear up and this opened the gate for me to share my Jesus with her. This allowed her to see where she can be just by trusting in Jesus.

This world is full of you should’ve, you could’ve, why don’t you, you can’t, you never will, we as Christians need to be the light. The light is that voice that tells them you can, you will, I believe in you, I’m here for you…. we need to be Jesus’ voice, we need to allow Jesus to speak through us and not just in us.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”   Romans 8:1

Will you be that voice?

A Heart At Rest (Blog Hopp)

So its bittersweet, this is my last blog for this bible study, but not my last blog….anyway here is the topic:

A Heart At Rest – How has saying yes to God throughout this study helped you find a heart a rest?

God truly has reveled Himself to me though this bible study. If you read my blog about “Discontentment” you will know how and why in more depth. But short version is that God showed me why I am so discontent in my life, he showed me my most inner being and He also showed me how to change that.

As Nikki shared once week about the #SayWhat moments, this was my say what moment. She sheared with us how her friend would pray over every single piece of clothes she washed for her family, she also said that this say what moment may not mean much to us but it meant the world to her friend. This is kind of how mine went.

I was so convicted of having my home a mess by God, I felt ashamed. I was never made to clean when I was younger, so that is how my home was. I thought my time was better spent elsewhere so I did not care how clean or unclean my home was. Now please understand we do not have bugs living with us but I mean that we just didn’t care how clean it was.

When the Lord showed me that my home is a reflection of my relationship with Him, I felt that I did not deserve to be in His presents. I questioned my walk with Him, my love for Him, my obedience to Him, and my love for Him.

But can I tell you that He quickly wrapped His mighty arms around me and showed me that even though we fail Him daily, He never will fail us. He will never leave us nor forsake us as explained in Hebrews 13:5. He showed me that there will be things in my life that He will have to chip away but He also showed me that this will take time for He will not do it all at once. At this moment my heart went from filled with so much sadness to filled with such a joy.

So since that day I have said yes to God my cleaning my house and this truly has set my heart at rest. This is taking me a while and I am still working on it but its coming along.

Will I also have the right answer? Will Jesus always come down and wrap His mighty arms around me so vividly and so noticeably?  Maybe not, I can assure you that day He did and that day my eyes were opened to the face of Jesus. 

Sweet friends I pray that when God reveals himself to us, that we know it is HIm and that He is doing it for good to show us who He was us to be not who we think we should be.

Friends have a blessed day.

 

 

Forgiveness

We refuse to give forgiveness because we believe that others have to earn it from us. Yet Jesus forgives us with no hesitation. We certainly have done nothing to earn His forgiveness.

Have you ever felt like what someone did to you was beyond your forgiveness? Like there is nowhere in you that could ever forgive what that person has done?

Have you felt that their offense was so far beyond God?

Have you ever felt that what you did to someone was so far beyond God that He wouldn’t come close to forgiving you?

Have you stole something, lied to your husband about where you were going or what money you spent, or have you punished you child in such a way you thought they would never forgive you?

Have you been that friend that didn’t remember the birthday party you were supposes to be at?

Have you been that person that turns their head and locks your car doors when you see someone that wasn’t wearing clean clothes because you just knew they were going to ask you for money?

Have you been the one in those conversations you know the ones you tell your children not to be a part of such as dirty jokes or talking about your co-workers behind their backs?

Are you the one who was lost at one point and can remember when you were judged by people, yet you turn your nose up at others because they are like who you used to be?

Yeah I know this is stepping on some toes but in today’s world babysitting and feel good message just aren’t getting the point across now are they????

If Jesus can forgive us….me and you, the ones who throws stones at Him, the ones who dragged Him on the ground up to the cross, we are the ones who beat Him…… and yet He tells us in Matthew;

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11: 28

He offers to give us rest, His murders. Does this sound like someone who does not forgive, like someone who is holding a grudge, like someone who hates us for what we did to Him?

No, it does not. He bears all our sins and dies for us and yet we can’t forgive like Him…

My family can hold a grudge with the best of them. Sometimes I feel we are cursed with unforgiveness because we can never find that place that allows us to see that this emotion, this action is not healthy for our mind, body, or soul. I believe the only why I am able to forgive is through Jesus Christ. I seen forgiveness through my husband but when I turned my life around and fully surrendered to Him I believe that is when I understood what true forgiveness was.

You see my husband had every right in this world to run so far away from me and take our children with him and I couldn’t have said a word about it. I gave my husband lots of worried nights, hundreds of tears, told many many lies and yet he still stayed. He forgave me for the hell I put him through and still loved me.

I never understood why he stayed with me. I thought maybe because he just felt comfortable and did not want the kids to have to experience a divorce but 4 years ago I realized why he stayed. He loved me unconditionally, no matter what did to him, he wanted it to work. I finally understood that it was not him who forgave me but Jesus through him who forgave me.

Yes see we as humans cannot forgive on our own. We do not live in a world where forgiveness is seen as something good. We live in a world where it is seen as being weak and broken. We live in a world where you can sue McDonalds if your coffee spills in your lap because you yourself dropped it because it was too hot, all the while the coffee being in a cup that says “caution HOT”

We cannot forgive unless He forgives us and we cannot be forgiven unless we accept His forgiveness.

Now I know many will disagree with me but think about it. We can say we forgive someone but what will happen the next time something comes about? You will remember what that person did the first time and all the feelings will creep back up and fester inside like a rotted splinter until you explode. Now was that ever true forgiveness?

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

Discontentment

Discontentment….Is this what I’m feeling or is it just satins way of imposing on my life?

I feel like I should be somewhere else, not stuck behind a desk all day in a cube.  I love what I do, I love making a difference but is this your path for me oh Lord?

Is this what you want for my life? I feel as if my spirit cannot stay still but my body cannot move…

Heavenly Father I pray that you show me the answer, I pray that you move me if I am to be moved, I pray that I can say YES to you when you call, I pray I am able to discern that this is you oh Lord. 

 

This was a conversation I had with my Heavenly Father just a little over a week ago and can I tell you He listened to me. Although He did not answer me immediately as of course I wanted Him to but friends He did answer me. He answered me earlier this week and let me tell you it was not pretty.

As I have said before I am in an online bible study #YesToGod and I was watching some videos I found through some of the blogs the host have and I felt the Spirit come to me and wrap His arms around me and just engulf me in Him.

I was watching someone speaking to young girls about relationship and I started to think “Lord this is what I should be doing. I should be out encouraging others like this, I have helped others and I know I just know I can help more people but Lord you have to get me there.” Oh yes I did tell Him that He needs to get me there because this is what I knew that is what I should be doing.

Can you relate? Have you ever told God your plans and expect them to happen?

So in that moment of me making plans for my life, He smacked me right in the face. My Heavenly Father said to me in the most loving way possible as if He were right there with me holding my hand bent down on one knee, He said to me “My child, how do you expect Me to allow you to stand and speak my words to others, to encourage others, to help others if your own household in not in order.”

I gasped, I was stunned, I was frozen. He then said to me “You can’t be content with your job, your clothes, with anything even yourself if you chose to allow you house to be so cluttered. Get your house in order.”

 

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace—as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people. 1 Corinthians 14:33

So as I asked my Facebook friends to help pray for me as I take this journey on cleaning my house and making it my home, I ask each of you who are reading this to do the same.

You see I hate to clean, I mean I really really hate to clean. I feel that my time can be spent on other things but if the others things I’m spending my time on is not of the Lord than what is that really saying to my relationship with Jesus?

I was really never made to clean much of anything except dishes when I was younger so this is going to be hard and a journey for me but I’m comforted to know that in Matthew 19:26… Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  and as Jesus tells us in John 14:20… On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.

Jesus is in me and we are in Him our Heavenly Father so I have nothing to worry about. I have accepted this challenge.  

So friends I ask you to hold me accountable to this road that I must travel at this point in my live. I will keep you updated as must as possible. Maybe after everything is clean and the way it should be I will post some before and after pictures.

 

Blessings,

 

 

 

 

Sticky Note Faith

Those bible verses we put up in our cars,on our desk at work, on the walls around our homes and even on our mirrors are what I consider sticky note faith.

You write them in pin so they are not easily erased yet what do we do when the sticky wears off?

Sometimes I wonder if writing those verses on little pieces of paper is where they stay.

I know many people have to write things down to remember them. Believe me I am one of those people. If I don’t write it down I will not remember it, I guess that’s why I have so many on my desk. I look up at them each time one catches my eye but I often find myself still not remembering what verse I just read as soon as I walked away from my desk.

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So I begin to think, once all the sticky comes off of the piece of paper and and you pick it up to throw it away, where does that verse go? Does it stay on those sticky notes that you just throw away or in your head so you can remember it when you feel it is convenient or is it actually written on you heart like Jesus tells us?

I can think of 3 places where we are commanded to write His words on our hearts. We are to fix them, to bind them and to tie them to our hearts yet why can’t we seem to do that. Here are the 3 places I found;

Deuteronomy 11:18 Fix these words of mine in you heart and minds; tie them as symblos on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. (NIV)

Proverbs 3:3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. (NIV)

Proverbs 7:3 Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. (NIV)

I know that my heart is a chaotic mess right now because of many things from family, work, school, friends and the list goes on and on but what I know my heart is not….it is not a canvas full of His word. I know it should be but many times those words on my sticky notes are just that…WORDS. They do not make it to the messy canvas of what I call my heart.

Today I pray that the words I read from His word, that I can bind them, tie them and fix them to my heart so even when I dont believe I need them they are there.

Dear Jesus, I pray that your words are worth more to me than just a piece of paper. Help me to do as your word says and bind them on my heart. Jesus I want to know you more and by doing that I will be able to make Your word more than just letters I write down. Thank you Jesus for your word. In Jesus name Amen.