Identity Crisis


For many years I hated to be called Joey’s wife. I hated not having my own identity.

“I’m not just his wife…I’m my own person, a photographer, a women who is not owned by any man.”

This is what kept shouting over and over again in my thoughts. Every time someone noticed me they saw me as Joey’s wife and I despised it.

This label festered in me and grew like the roots of weeds wrapping around the foundation of someone’s home and ripping it apart.

Whatever I did I could not erase this title I have been given.

But why was I so angry at this title?

Many women would love the chance to be loved by such a hardworking man yet I couldn’t run far enough away from it.

My selfishness pushed me away from him and into another’s arms.

During this time in my life I did not know who Jesus was. I knew that He came and died for me but I thought this whole “saved thing” was about rules that I had to follow. I mean I was a good person and as long as my good outweighed my bad no matter how bad it was, then I knew I was getting in to heaven you know.

So I believed that I was my own boss and no one especially my husband was going to tell me what I could and could not do or be.

Because this was my philosophy, I found myself having nervous break downs, tangled in lies, engulfed by my own sin that I blamed him for.

I did not realize that my mind was telling me things that were not real. My mind was so twisted by all my sin, I began to live what some may call an alternate reality.

I began to see things that were not real. I began to justify what I was doing because I knew; I just knew he was doing the same thing but worst.

But then something crazy happened. Joey and I asked Jesus into our hearts and I became NEW.

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.”  Revelation 21:5

New is right. I no longer hated being Joey’s wife. In fact, I now introduce myself as Joey’s wife when we are together. I get goose bumps when someone refers to me as Joey’s wife because I want everyone to know that I am his.

God tells us in the beginning

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24, NIV

So when Joey and I married than we became ONE. So I no longer have an identity on my own. My identity is Joey’s wife and his is Jennifer’s husband. But most importantly we are God’s children.

John tells us that when we ask Jesus into our hearts then He lives in us. Well if He lives in me than shouldn’t I been seen as He has made me?

 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. John 14:20

Are you having in identity crisis? If so I encourage you to take a step back and look at who you are in Christ. Or better yet look at where Christ lives in your life.

Does He live in you, with you, around you or maybe once in a while near you?


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