So today I have be challenged to answer one of 4 different questions from my online bible study I wrote about last. So here is the question…
In the Bible Study section at the end of the chapter Lysa asks, “What is holding you back from going deeper in your relationship with God?” List one or more things you sense holding you back (fear, intimidation, lack of confidence, etc). Use your Bible study tools to find scriptures that will help you apply God’s truth in this area. Determine to release, surrender and move forward with #PalmsUp receiving all God has for you.
In my crazy day to day life I feel that my lack of confidence is holding me back from going deeper with God. As I wrote on my last blog yesterday, I just dont know how to get that confidence that I know I should have. I mean the word confidence is just so intimidating to me sometimes. I guess because when I was young in high school I got so mad at people for making fun of me and calling me names that I got this attitude about myself that “no on is better than me” and “they are all just jealous of me” so with this kind of attitude I thought I have self-confidence when I really become cocky and that’s when things sprawled out of control for me.
My life was never peachy keen but during my high school years I did change my attitude for the worst. This cockiness I have developed followed me into my relationship with the man I now call my husband. We got married when i was only 18 so as you can image I still had this attitude. Just a year into our marriage things started to fall apart and I believe it was my attitude to cause much of the bad nights and speechless days. I will go into more detail about our marriage later.
So as I was saying confidence for me is a very scary place but as I said yesterday God has wispered to me “I created you in my image, I created you to be like Me, I created you out of love and I live in you.” So why then should I be afraid of having confidence, not confidence in me but confidence that Jesus lives in me and it is Him that will shine through me and give me the words to share, and He will show me how to have #PalmsUp, I just have to accept it anytime and anyplace.
So today my prayer is this:
Dear Jesus I know you live in me and I know you will shine through me, I ask that you also help me through my insecurities of my past and move forward with my #PalmsUp ready to receive what you have in store for me. I love you…Amen